Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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