My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
