Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
