but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
