so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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