____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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