it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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