you would pick up someone in the library
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
