Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
