Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
