Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
