I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
