i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
