my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
