My liver just broke up with me...
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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