If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
