I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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