I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Randomize
