FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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