You smell like stripper and shame
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
