i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
