come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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