I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
