Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
