Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
