I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
