Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
