you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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