Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Use "feeling words"
Yay
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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