It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
