Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
