Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
