To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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