She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
