I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
