My brain says no but my pants say off.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
