If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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