That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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