HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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