And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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