yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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