She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
