sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
