Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Drunk is not a location!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
