ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
