Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
