tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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