Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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