Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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