I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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