Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
